10/29/10 Facing the monster

(okay, chronologically, this experience didn't happen until the 31st, but I need to backfill my ecstasy entries.)

What is the thing in life which you find most disgusting and revolting of all? Something that really turns your stomach, that makes you want to puke? Got it? What if you walked into a coffee shop and saw that thing? What if the thing you always went out of your way to avoid appeared right in front of your eyes? Asking for your help and a cup of Joe? And you just wanted to run?
You would need to keep your wits about you. You could run. This is your monster, your Quasimodo, your Grendel. You are a pleasure-seeking bipedal earth mammal. You want to be perpetually surrounded by joy and laughter and goodness and health. You are under no obligation to be nice to the monster. You could tell them off--tell them they are hideous and disgusting and be as much of a superior asshole as you wanted to be. You could ignore their humanity, their monsterness.
But you are also a shiny star, an earth angel with superpowers of life and light and healing. You are able to zap situations with your mind and have them change instantly. You have a conversation with Quasimodo, and tell him that he is so nice. You thank him for the wilted flowers. It does not diminish your power, your humanity to be kind to your monster.
It does not diminsh your shining brilliance to be a mensch, to treat someone decently. This monster will not eat you. And you feel that your heart has grown, that you have overcome some of your own monstrosity, that you have become more human yourself. It is an ecstasy to know you are capable of this.